I wish someone would offend me, create a joke about my job or something I can roll my eyes at and then respond with sass. There are many things to hate about me and although they would all be fueled by jealousy (see what I did there?), a determined and dedicated hater would add so much into my life. It would also give me an excuse to buy Four Lokos, and whine about just needin’ a drink.
I also wish I would have made a really funny butt-flashing joke when I first heard about New Moon.
